Wolves and Watsu

I am not a big reader, but after more than one friend highly recommended the oldish book, “Women who Run with the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, I accepted that I needed to read it. As fate would have it, my local library not only had it in stock, but when I went to find it by its 398.082 number somewhere amongst many shelves, it was by itself…displayed upright…like it was waiting for me to come get it! Weird! I took a photo to prove it. LOL

Women who Run with the Wolves

It is a big book and I have a short attention span, but it’s GOOD. I’m only on page 25 and already feel more empowered! I am woman, hear me roar! I am not a man hater at all, but I am very into women power right now. In the past I’ve given my power away to men, but will NEVER EVER do that again. After I post this blog, I’m getting back to the book. I also have other books I need to read about writing since I DO need to work on my TV show idea and then film idea. Anyway, this book goes along with the power of the goddess and the fact we must bring female power back into the forefront of society.

On another note, I had a wonderful watsu session today at http://www.sweetwaterwatsu.com in beautiful Evergreen, Colorado with owner, Susan Lange. It was so relaxing and spiritual. Today was my third watsu session ever. The first time was at http://www.puravidaspa.com in 2005 where a mixture of watsu with waterdance clearly lowered my chronic headache…until I stupidly went white water rafting the next day and undid all the good the session had accomplished. The second time, I went to see Marion at http://www.watsusf.org in Santa Fe, New Mexico (a few years ago) and it was a soothing experience. Today was cool because not only did Susan take me underwater (standard watsu is above water) – I love the underwater part – but she also used Tibetan singing bowls floating in the water for a little while, and then she laid them on my chest and stomach while I floated and played them. The tones and vibrations went through my body. It was lovely. I do believe in the healing power of sound. Probably the coolest part was when she took me underwater the one time and I suddenly “saw” myself going through a tunnel. Now, it looked to me like the tunnel I went through years ago while Eric Pearl worked on me that plopped me out into space somewhere with spirit guides, but it could have been me reliving being born too…the birth canal. It’s hard to know. Susan did say that some people flash back to being born during watsu sessions. Being in the body temperature water, weightless, is like being in amniotic fluid. In fact, when I got out of the pool, I had a hard time walking. My legs felt SO freaking heavy! It really struck home just how heavy it is here on planet Earth. No wonder people who’ve had near death experiences report that coming back into their physical bodies was torture because of the pain and weight/heaviness. As pure spirit we’re weightless. I look forward to never having to diet or weigh myself again someday! LOL

To be honest, I think watsu is so much better than standard massage, I don’t know if I’ll ever bother with regular massage again. I highly recommend it for physical pain and emotional healing. Many people cry or have other releases while in the water. Now, you have to be able to let go and trust your practitioner, so if you are afraid that you’ll drown or something, it’s not going to be as effective. I had total trust in Susan (and Marion) and was able to let go as much as possible. I almost forgot! The Tibetan bowls being toned while I floated started to bring me back to one of my past lives in Tibet/Nepal too…when I was a Buddhist monk.

Okay, that’s it for today. I’ve got a lot of reading to do!


Running to me and a visit from a friend

I have a feeling this blog is going to become an online diary. If you lose interest, I fully understand, but I also feel there is value in typing out what I’m going through in the hope that if I can help even one other person…I’ve served my purpose.

For those of you who don’t know, I have lived in constant pain in my head and neck since Oct. 1, 1995 due to a whiplash type injury. Over 100 MDs, healers, shamans, chiropractors, acupuncturists, craniosacral therapists, prolotherapy practitioners, past-life regressionists (I’ve died by my neck at least 5 times), etc. have not been able to help me and can’t figure out my MRIs. The headache and neck pain has been REALLY bad again lately, so besides buying the yoga headstand bench I got yesterday (which I think IS helping a little), I decided to put two large quartz crystals next to my pillow last night to see if they would help. Due to lots of worry about getting a day job lately, my insomnia has been bad, so I was awake most of the night. I jumped up in the middle of the night when I heard a car alarm going off that sounded like it was coming from where my car is parked. I looked out the window and didn’t see any sign of any car’s lights flashing, etc. and headed back to bed….whereupon I noticed the time was exactly 4:44 a.m. Of course it was 4:44 a.m.! (See other posts about 444.) For the rest of the night I dozed and then woke and then dozed and then woke. I think I was often in that very receptive state between being fully awake and asleep. I heard 2 pretty loud noises that sounded like they were within my apartment, a BANG and then something else I can’t really remember now. Because of what happened next, I feel I was probably out of body and the noises were related to astral stuff or re-entering my body, etc. At one point I woke up with my heart racing really bad, which makes sense.

Anyway, I ended up having a “dream” in the wee hours of the morning where I was back in Albuquerque spying on my ex house to see if the current owner was taking care of it. I’ll skip those details because the important part was that all of a sudden, my childhood friend who passed away a year ago this month suddenly walked up to me. She looked healthy and beautiful. I was lucid because I knew, “XXX crossed over” as I talked to her. When she was on the Earth plane, she was a very hard worker and very devoted to her important job. In this dream that wasn’t a dream, she told me that she was concerned about some stuff that’s going on with her old job and asked me if I would help her. (That is SO her to still be worried about her old job.) She said that she’d conference call me with some other person “Sunday morning at 8 a.m.” Keep in mind that today is Saturday, so she meant tomorrow morning. The lucid dream/astral event was in color and very vivid. Everything was distinct. There was no iffy-ness. I had totally forgotten until someone mentioned it today that late yesterday was a special full moon and eclipse! Talking to a fellow medium today, she did feel the crystals may have empowered an already powerful time. Because I know that our loved ones on the Other Side do sometimes use electronics like phones to get through to us (they can feed off the electricity) I think it’s really possible that my cell phone is going to ring at 8 a.m. tomorrow! Needless to say, I’m going to be staring at it starting around 7:55 a.m. I was advised to go into meditation, though, as XXX may not have meant call in a literal phone call way, but possibly just that she’ll “call” me mentally. Even if I don’t get a call, it was so wonderful to see her looking so healthy and happy in spirit. That gives me peace in knowing she’s well over there.

I met with a fellow medium today at her house after her guides told her that I needed help. That’s true. I’m struggling bad. Because the “day job” search has been so hard and demoralizing, I’m getting very scared that I’ll lose everything and have been questioning if moving to Denver was a huge mistake. We spent hours together talking about various and sundry things, including writing. She referred me to 2 books about writing (Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird – Some Instructions on Writing and Life” and Stephen King’s “On Writing – A Memoir of the Craft”) (Another screenwriter/psychic friend recommended Pam Douglas’ “Writing the TV Drama Series 3rd Edition – How to Succeed as a Professional Writer in TV”) I told her that I’ve got a metaphysical dramedy TV show idea that would be easier to write at this point (it’s clearer to me) and that I’ve had a metaphysical dramatic film idea in my head for decades that I’m stuck on regarding one major plot point. She picked up that why I’m stuck on the plot is because I’m not wanting to face some aspect of myself. I had never thought of that, but I do need to look at that possibility. That led us into a discussion about how any good writer has to write from their innermost self…warts and all. Being a writer has got to be THE most revealing career out there. Acting is a close second. When I started to talk about this old film idea that’s been in the back of my head since the early/mid 1990s, I began to cry. The film feels IMPORTANT. It’s an Academy Award winning film…I FEEL it. And it needs me to write it but I’ve gotten in my own damn way. Wayne Dyer’s, “Don’t die with your music still in you.” is playing through my mind. I will admit that my reaction to talking about the movie idea caught me off guard. The swell of emotion startled me.

During my hours with my friend, my channeling also came up and she gave some intuitive advice about that to make it physically easier on me…and possibly to actually use it to heal my head and neck pain. She picked up that my maternal grandpa is my gatekeeper, which was a surprise yet not. Grandpa has shown up quite a few times over the years, but I didn’t realize he was the one leading things and protecting me. In his Earthly life, he was NOT into metaphysical stuff at all. So it’s kind of funny that now he’s VERY into it. She not only convinced me that yes, I am indeed supposed to be in Denver, but offered to help me get out there so-to-speak regarding my channeling. She KINDLY offered to be my grounded anchor and tape me while I’m in trance. Like some others, she doesn’t think it’s a great idea to fully trance channel when alone as I may not come back. (With the physical pain I’m in, it’s tempting to not come back into my body let me tell you.) Well known channels like Jane Roberts, Edgar Cayce, Esther Hicks, etc. always had someone else there to guide, ask questions, take notes, videotape, ground, etc. My friend’s offer to help is heartwarming and very generous and I’ll take her up on it.

During this past Tuesday’s meeting of Quantum Spiritology where we practiced reading auras, one of the things a couple of people saw in my aura was a snake. They felt it meant that I was in the midst of a major transformation. I suddenly feel that’s true. Transformations can be very painful, and I’ve been experiencing increased physical pain, and also emotional pain. Because of a friend’s benefits from taking up running recently, I got the urge to go run. I’ve been devoted to daily yoga since late March or early April 2014, but have to admit that lately I’m getting bored (despite the wonderful benefits) and feel like I need to really MOVE more…that slow, static exercise has run its course with me. (Not saying I’m quitting yoga totally.) Now, I’m going to blame being at 5,280 feet elevation for my lack of cardiovascular endurance, but I could only run for 15 minutes. That being said, it felt so good to RUN…RUN LIKE THE WIND…TO BE FREE AGAIN. (Shout out to Christopher Cross.) I was born in the Chinese year of the Fire Horse after all! While running and listening to Loreena McKennitt’s station on Pandora, suddenly this beautiful song came on that was a mixture of Canon in D (one of my favorite songs EVER) and a U2 song called “Pachelbel meets U2” and I started to cry. Tears streamed down my face as I ran. The realization that I am going through a painful rebirth to become my TRUE SELF hit me like a ton of bricks. I am shedding my old self like a snake sheds its skin. The running helped me to release crap held inside. Now I know why runners get addicted to running. There is indeed something about running you don’t get from other exercise. It’s symbolic in a way. Then, as if I wasn’t already crying, the next song that came on Pandora was “Cristifori’s Dream” and that sent me over the edge. Gorgeous, soul stirring music.

A writer must be willing to bare their soul.  And you wouldn’t dream it if it wasn’t something you’re supposed to do.  Everyone has different dreams for a reason.

In light,

Watches, numbers, pothole covers, and more!

This post is going to cover a bunch of happenings, so sorry if I end up all over the place.  Ha!


Me with my new headstand bench!

Last Saturday I went to a MeetUp group called “Coffee, Tea, & Spirituality” (I could not resist a group with THAT name!) for the first time.  As you know, spirit speaks to me with numbers A LOT…and increasingly so.  My biggies have been 444 (angels are with you), 333 (Masters are with you), 555 (changes are coming), and the occasional 1111 (the mother of all spiritual numbers…see http://www.nvisible.com for info).  On the way to the meeting, I got two 333s within a minute of each other.  The meeting turned out to be really great, and part way through I got the urge to check the time on my phone, and when I did it was exactly 11:11 a.m. of course!  Love it!  So, my unseen friends seem fans of this new group I’ve joined.  Lovely group of people there.

A few of years ago or so, I felt strongly urged by my unseen friends to stop wearing watches.  They were aggressive about it.  I suspected the quartz/electromagnetic field put off by watches was disturbing my body’s energy or something…but that’s just a guess.  So I didn’t wear watches for a long time, and I’m obsessed with knowing what time it is.  Anyway, a year ago or less, I suddenly just got this craving for a watch.  It felt “safe” at that point, so I went to Macy’s and got a pretty watch.  It ran fine for a while, and then died.  (sooner than it probably should have)  I went to Walmart to get a new battery put in, and the watch died again a month later or so.  So, I didn’t wear a watch again for a long time.  All of a sudden last weekend, I got this urge to get another battery for the dead pretty watch, went to my new local Walmart, but they wouldn’t open up a watch they didn’t sell for some dumb reason.  I ended up just buying a cheapy basic watch while there.  That was on the 11th.  Today, on the 16th, I woke up to a dead watch.  Thankfully, I kept the receipt, so Walmart did put a new battery in it.  While I was talking to the gal who was working on my watch, I mentioned, “Well, you never know how long a watch has been sitting on a store shelf, having its battery drain.”  She replied, “Actually, we go through watches very fast and pretty much they are all new every week.”  So then I turned back to my other gut feeling…that my energy is blowing the watches.  We’ll see how long this brand new battery lasts!  I’ve met other people who blow out watches and have given up even trying to wear one.  Has this happened to any of my readers?

My constant head and neck pain has been HORRID again since last week for some stupid reason.  I’ve booked a Watsu session for Monday, but in my desperation to get relief NOW, I looked on CraigsList for the heck of it to see if anyone was selling a used yoga headstand bench I could get for cheap.  The AirBnB I stayed at in Taos back in April had one and I loved it.  As fate would have it, there was one in good condition for sale in Boulder for only $40.  I drove up this morning to buy it, and got talking with the kind man selling it about cats and life.  He happened to mention a “coincidental” story about his cat that prompted us to start talking about more metaphysical/spiritual stuff.  At one point, he mentioned he’d lost a brother back in the early 1970s who was 6 years older than him, and told me about this sign he got that he felt was a message from the brother long ago.  Well, you don’t mention that kind of stuff to me, because BAM!  The tingling started and his brother showed up.  I ended up giving him some messages from his brother in spirit, that meant a lot to him.  I could not help but think I was sent to buy this headstand bench from this man so that his brother could “talk” to him.  I truly feel there are ZERO chance encounters in life.

Also, during our long and lovely talk, we got talking about numbers.  I specifically told him about 555, 333, 444, and 1111.  He said that he noticed numbers a lot too…but wasn’t really aware of the meanings of these specific ones.  I hadn’t been driving but 5 minutes back toward home with my new yoga headstand bench when I got two 1111s in a row and then a 555!  I texted him and he loved it!  That just kind of confirmed for me that his brother arranged this morning’s meeting.

And since I’m talking about numbers, all of a sudden the past few days I’m getting new ones for me, 222s and 777s.  I need to look up what they mean.  I think 222 means partnership (good news) and 777 may mean just spirituality, but I’m not sure.  In fact, when I got to Walmart for my watch battery on the way back from Boulder, in the parking lot there was not only a 777, but a phone number on the side of a commercial vehicle was (303) 777-7777!  I just laughed!


Westminster, CO lid in a sidewalk.

Take a look at the picture above of a sewer system or electrical system underground lid.  Do you see what I see?  I see a pyramid with UFO over it!  And I feel that the circle means something too.  I need to pull out symbols books and look up Sacred Geometry or something.  Even “Monitoring Well” sounds freaking suspicious!  With the whole Denver International Airport issue…nothing would shock me at this point.  Sometimes hints are in plain site and we don’t notice them because they ARE so obvious.


Okay, I’ve rambled on enough today.  Thanks for reading!

In light,


The Science of Getting Rich

The Science of Getting Rich

My friend just insisted I download this free ebook titled “The Science of Getting Rich” which was written in the early 1900s.  It’s a short 77 page book and I’m already on page 40something.  It’s pretty good.  I’ve always questioned the whole “you can create your reality” thing but at this point in my (so far) unsuccessful day job search, it’s worth another try.  I’m finding myself focusing on all the rejections and low salaries and planning how to live in my Honda with 2 cats and a fish should I never get a job…and that’s a bad road to go down.  I’ve gotta tell myself I’m definitely getting a great job soon…in fact, that job is already mine to claim! 

I will admit that in 1995 on my way back to Los Angeles from Paris, I was successful at affecting the outcome of something.  I had spent all my money because I THOUGHT I knew how to easily get to the airport.  But, somehow I got very lost in Paris and totally panicked when it seemed I’d miss the special once per week chartered flight.  I became hysterical and the French people were SO lovely to me.  Strangers put me on trains and pointed to what stop I should get off on and didn’t charge me any fare.  Because I’d heard of this ability to create reality, through my tears and with much force/emotion I kept saying (while visualizing) “My plane is an hour late!”  I finally made it to Orly Airport…but close to an hour after my flight had been scheduled to take off.  I ran up to the airline’s agent (mascara everywhere)  and frantically asked about my flight.  She then said to me, “Oh, didn’t you hear?  Your flight has been delayed ONE HOUR so you’ve made it!”  Exactly the one hour I had focused on.🙂

Here’s a link to the book: http://www.thesecret.tv/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/The-Science-of-Getting-Rich.pdf

Here’s to creating! 


Taos Dream

I swear my blog isn’t totally about Taos, but it is on my mind more and more…to the point I dreamed of it last night, very vividly.  Now I’m struggling to make sense of it.  I should have immediately written it down or recorded it so as not to forget, but I was stupidly lazy so now my memory isn’t totally clear.

I had driven a big converted bus (or something cumbersome) that I seemed to be living inside of down to Taos but there was a storm and it either got stuck in mud or started sliding backwards in mud down a hill or something.  I forgot how, but somehow I got it out of that bad situation and made it to Taos.  Once there, I met 3…I think 3, Native American women and we sat talking in a semi circle.  I suspect I was on Taos Pueblo, but am not 100% sure.  They told me they read a fabulous article about me in The Taos News.  I had no idea a story about me was being written!  Then they said that Grandmother wanted to talk to me.  I don’t think this referred to Grandmother Jean.  I feel it was someone or something else.

A friend of mine in Taos suspects Grandmother refers to Taos Mountain.  I do talk to it, as I’ve mentioned before.  She has suggested I drive back down (4.5 hours…ugh) to Taos, sit next the Taos Pueblo’s river, and not only TALK to the mountain, but actually shut up and listen for once.  I’m kind of afraid of what I might hear.  I have a feeling that if Taos Mountain IS the “Grandmother” referred to, it’ll tell me it’s time to walk away from the life I’ve known.  That it’s time to become my soul’s truth.

Soul vs. Practicality


I just got back from 2 days in Taos, discounting travel time…after driving 90 mph for 4.5 hours.  It was magical, as always.

I’m sitting here…home…but not “home”.  What have I done?  I fully expect a high level job offer from XXXX (can’t name it but it’s a great place in the Denver area) this coming week and I will be thrilled (and relieved after over 4 months of looking) but there is a tug at my soul.  It’s name is Taos.

I’m going to miss waving at strangers as they pass by in their cars and trucks.  I’m going to miss the deadbeats who brag that they’ve not worked in 14 months, hate the government, but are on food stamps (keep in mind I’m on them) and give tips on how to get the most out of food stamps with half off coupons.  Or the ones the locals told me about who stop by daily to bum a cigarette.  I’m going to miss the people who have walked away from high level jobs/lives to devote themselves to traveling the world doing yoga service (working for room and board along the way).  I’m going to miss the people who just “happened” to pass through Taos on their way to somewhere else and knew they couldn’t leave…like the Seattle artist I met last April who, on his way back from an art tour in London, fell in love with Taos and never returned to Seattle.  Or, the woman I met at The Snowmansion hostel years ago who decided, on a whim, to veer off and check out Taos on her way back to her home in Wyoming from Sedona…who went back to Wyoming, quit her high paying government job, sold her property, and moved to Taos with no idea how she would survive but knew “It will work out.”

I’m going to miss the people intently photographing sunflowers by the side of the road.  I’m going to miss the bad singers in Taos Plaza blasting their voices over speakers with tip jars out…but…so happy to be singing with joy.  I’m going to miss the artists set up in the middle of coffee house parking lots painting what the bright sunlight at 7,000′ shows.  I’m going to miss Taos’ night sky with billions of stars.  Have you ever seen the Milky Way?  I have.  I’m going to miss the quiet.  I’m going to miss the voice of Taos Mountain and La Bruja (witch) that appears at the top of the next door mountain peak…broomstick and all (a stereotype I don’t love but she’s cute with her pigtail blowing in the wind).  I’m going to miss the bartering between locals as they each support each other.   I’m going to miss CPAs/marathoners  who tell me that their REAL job is to be in Taos.  I’m going to miss the strangers in dreadlocks who offer to make me coffee.  I’m going to miss the guy from Scandinavia who ended up in Taos because he threw a dart at a map on the wall and it landed on Taos.  I’m going to miss baristas and German girls in hostels who break into song.  I’m going to miss the fact that everyone is either related to each other or knows each other, and looks out for each other.

I’m going to miss the stories…the wonderful and magical stories of how people ended up in Taos.  When you say to someone, “This place is SO special and weird” and they look at you knowingly, and nod in agreement.  I’m going to miss talking with people who are in Taos to attend the Earthship Academy.  Yes, there is an Earthship Academy.  And then there was the couple who’ve lived in the Taos area their entire lives, yet still drive out to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge to eat dinner and watch the sunset.  I talked to a very elderly man yesterday who told me Taos called him 22 years ago.  He was at Wired, eating a scone or something, and reading the New Yorker.  He told me (after hearing my 1998 story) that my story reminded him of Mabel Dodge Lujan.  Then, of course, there is Dennis Hopper…who, while looking for places to film Easy Rider, fell so in love with Taos that he lived there for 40 years.

I am crying as I type this.  I do love Colorado.  It’s beautiful and full of opportunity and welcoming people (despite the current deluge of 10,000 per month).  I’m very alone in the world with no one else to rely on and have to take care of myself financially…and Denver is an economic hot spot.  At this point, at 49 and alone for 49 years, I can’t expect that to change.  Hope just creates letdown.  I have to plan for my future/later years.  I don’t want to struggle in Taos with 3 part-time jobs with no benefits.  With tears rolling down my cheeks…I feel stuck.  I know that my ashes will be sprinkled in Taos someday.  I just hope that’s not too late for me to be there.

During my weekend in Taos I got a lot of power numbers, especially 111.

My friend in Massachusetts visited my grave today and placed a sunflower.  As if I wasn’t already crying.  Thank you, Tumeria.  A sunflower turns its face to the sun.  Very symbolic.




Curandera, Mavis Salazar

Althea Center for Engaged Spirituality

On Tuesday night at a Quantum Spiritology message circle, the leader of another Meetup group mentioned that a curandera named Mavis Salazar was going to be speaking today…and the moment I heard the words come out of her mouth, my unseen friends whacked me hard letting me know in no uncertain terms, that I was to attend Mavis’ talk.🙂 As I pulled up today, I glanced at my phone to see the time was exactly 11:11 a.m., so I took that as a good omen.

http://ghhcec.com/ and http://ceibausa.org/ are Mavis Salazar’s sites.

Her talk today was great and we tuned into plants to allow them to speak, which was fascinating.  When we focused on this one group of 3 plants I heard them singing “Kumbaya My Lord…Kumbaya…” (seriously) and then I heard “Manny, Moe, and Jack” (like the 3 guys from the Pep Boys commercials)!  We decided the plants had told us their names.🙂

While she was talking I thought I saw a viper/snake standing up behind her but discounted it.  Later, when she sensed a huge energy enter the room, she asked me what I picked up…and it was Quetzalcoatl!!  That made sense since I had seen the snake and she studies with Mayans in Guatemala.  (In Los Angeles years ago I actually channeled  Quetzalcoatl one night at a practice circle.)  Then she said that today is (some name I can’t recall) the day of the snake!  How cool is that?!

At the end of the event I ended up doing some spontaneous channeling for her and she invited me to join a women’s group she’s in as she felt I’d be a prefect fit.  Yippee!  I soooo need to meet more like-minded people.

Taos has been on my butt this past week calling me back to visit, so I will head down there in the next week or two.  But, with the support I’ve received here in Denver regarding my trance mediumship/regular mediumship…and the wonderful connections I’m making here, I do finally have clarity that at this point in my life’s journey I am meant to live in the Denver area and just VISIT my beloved Taos.  That could change down the road, but for now I’m meant to be a Coloradan.  Or, with all the back and forth driving I suspect I’ll be doing to Taos…a Newmoradan!  LOL!  I really do feel that Taos Mountain intends to keep a tight reign on me and will make me hold up my end of the agreement by visiting New Mexico regularly.