Archive | January 2017

You got the pearls!

pearlsYears ago in Los Angeles I went for a reading (because we psychics can’t read ourselves…annoyingly…and I wasn’t totally aware of just how weird my life was going to get back then — hadn’t started channeling yet) with medium Eddie Cabral and it turned out to be a very interesting session.  Amongst the many interesting things he told me that hour, he brought through the spirit of my brother.  Now, that wouldn’t be shocking except for the fact that I didn’t have a brother who died…or so I thought.  As I was sitting there listening to what Eddie was saying, all I could think of at first was that there was just me and my younger sister as siblings.  All of a sudden, though, I had this AH HA moment where I remembered that after my sister was born, mom did get pregnant again…but had a miscarriage that was pretty bad.  (Well, all miscarriages are bad.)  Mom had wanted to have 4 kids, but after the miscarriage and complications…opted to stop at the 2 daughters she had.  (Eerily, years later during a surgery mom was undergoing, doctors found what they called a “hairy tooth” inside her that they suspected was the twin of the other baby she lost…although that was never totally proven.)  So Eddie was passing along messages from the pregnancy mom lost.  The baby would have been a boy had its soul not had to leave early for some reason.

To get back to what Eddie was bringing through, the spirit of my brother exclaimed…somewhat jealously, “You got the pearls!  You got the pearls!”  I was like, “What pearls?”  Clearly he felt that HE was meant to get the pearls had he been born.  Eddie and I realized that this spirit did not mean literal pearls.  The pearls were symbolic meaning a special spiritual gift.  I just found this information when I Googled pearl symbolism.

Now, many years later, I am feeling a stronger and stronger pull to do more important work than the office work that has been my main livelihood for decades.  I’ve been highly underutilizing my pearls.  I’m actually going to meditate like I should have been doing regularly long ago as I look for clarity and direction from spirit.  Maybe my brother on the Other Side can help.  This story I shared goes to show you that even when a spirit doesn’t make it to physical birth…or if it passes quickly after being born…it continues to live on and grow up on the Other Side.

On another note, I blogged recently about how I have been having things happen here in my new apartment that have led me to believe there is some kind of vortex in the kitchen or, at the very least, that it’s haunted.  Last night there were more noises in the kitchen and then my necklaces that are hanging on hooks on my bedroom closet door suddenly all were strongly shaking around loudly in the wee hours of the morning.  Now, Bleu MIGHT have caused the necklaces to shake around if he quickly pushed open the door…but I didn’t catch him in the act.  But, while brushing my teeth this morning in the bathroom, I turned toward the door and clearly saw a ball of light…low to the floor…go in front of the bathroom door from the living room into the bedroom!  I’ve been telling Bodhi and Karma (2 of my cats that passed away years ago) how much I miss them lately, so my friends and I are wondering if it was one of my fur babies in spirit stopping by.  I sure hope so.

In light,


Sign of death and being where you’re meant to be

When the thought popped into my head days ago that I should make a Will at age 50, I dismissed it as “nothing but a random thought”.  You’d think I would have learned by now that things that just pop into your head out-of-the-blue actually are messages from spirit.  Now, I don’t know that I’m dying soon for SURE, but I never felt I’d live very long.  I recall thinking I wouldn’t make it to 30.

A couple of days after the making a Last Will and Testament thought, I had a VERY eerie/scary dream.  I don’t recall all of it now, but the important parts were that I saw myself as a naked and dead as this guy was having sex with my lifeless body.  (Didn’t want to even mention that part…but…it seems to be important.)  I was above the scene watching it.  When he turned to look up at me after sensing me witnessing what was going on, he was a demon.  (A few days before this dream, a fellow psychic friend in CA sent me an email asking if I’d just sent her an email with the subject line “Angels and Demons” or something.  She was on her tablet when this flash of an incoming email popped up on her screen.  When she finished what she was doing and went to go look at the supposed email from me…nothing was there.) Then the next part of the dream was seemingly very different.  I was in my house/apartment (in dreams…when I’m in some type of structure like a house it usually means it’s an astral event and not just a regular dream) when this big brown rabbit frantically runs into my house like it was trying to hide from something.  It was followed by a black shaggy dog with an injured hind leg.  Out of curiosity I looked up the meaning of rabbits and dogs and dreams and found this information.

Rabbits seem to be a good omen:

But, black dogs…especially injured black dogs…can mean death:

“An injured dog in a dream suggests that you pay closer attention to yourself and your health or remove yourself from a situation in which you could be hurt.  Black dogs symbolize depression or death, since in many world mythologies, the dog is a guardian of the gates of death or a messenger or guide to the Other Side.”

Some other websites that had black dog meanings…especially injured ones…were a bit more blunt and definitely pointed towards death.

Some friends have said that the death may not be literal but symbolic, that there is a part of me that is about to die as I birth a new chapter.  Hopefully, that’s what it all means…but…my life hasn’t been super great, and living in constant awful pain, I’m ready to go if it’s my time.

That being said (sorry to be a downer), something happened yesterday that I want to mention in order to give others proof that there IS a plan even when we feel totally lost — I’ve felt like I’m 100% rotting lately and that my entire life has been, and is being, wasted.

A week or two ago I signed up for an astrology Meetup group’s gathering at a coffee house in Santa Fe set for yesterday.  When I showed up at 3 p.m. I saw a good sized group and recognized two of the women, so I walked over.  Then I found out that no, my group’s meeting had been canceled (that’ll teach me not to verify on that a meeting is still on) and that they were the newly formed Goofy Spiritualist in Action group.  Loved the name instantly and told them that yes, I’m goofy!  LOL!  They invited me to join them and it ended up being a GREAT group of fun people who want to do a whole bunch of different type spiritual related things.

Now, keep in mind that I was not supposed to come to this meeting.  I showed up by “accident”.

Not long after joining the group, when they were going around the table having people introduce themselves and explain what drew them to join the group, I started noticing my heart starting to race, and someone in spirit trying to force their way in.  I mentioned that I felt like I was about to go into trance and would hold the energy back.  But, they were all very receptive.  I did hold the energy back for a while, but then it got stronger.  I knew it was Lisette, my fairy.  Yes, fairies are real.  I never believed in them until I met her in 2002.  She is a fun, happy,  joyful spirit to channel.  She usually shows up when the mood needs to be lightened.

So, I ended up doing a brief channeled session right in the middle of Tribes Coffee of Lisette, my fairy guide.  It was SO Santa Fe that I’m shaking and gasping and having a different voice come through quite loudly and NO ONE even looked up from their coffee and conversations at the other tables!  LOL!  It didn’t phase them at all!  Ha Ha!  I am truly meant to be here.  (Interestingly, a few people mentioned how much they don’t like Albuquerque’s energy at all and can’t wait to get out of the city when they need to go there…where I lived the 2 prior times I’ve lived in NM.  I was talking to one woman in Taos years ago who DREADED having to go to Albuquerque when she was forced to go to the airport.)  Lisette wanted to come through because she was thrilled with the whole concept of this new upbeat spiritual group.  She was cheering us on.  I don’t remember most of what she said, but supposedly someone is going to type up a synopsis for us.  I do recall her saying that sometimes people are SO serious about spiritual growth that it actually hinders their growth.

Toward the end of the gathering, I got talking to a lovely woman who…not only gave me a needed hug…but also turned out to be the Acquisitions Editor for a book publisher.  As you know, I am intrinsically a writer and have been one since I was a kid.  All over my natal chart there are signs pointing toward me being a writer.  I’ve had a TV show idea and the beginnings of a film idea in my head for eons.  But, I do think I need to focus on book writing as that seems “easier”.  All that formatting and such that’s needed for screenplays seems overwhelming.  Besides, a book can always be adapted and become a screenplay.  I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I was told years ago a reputable source that Hollywood respects book authors more than people who market themselves strictly as screenwriters.  Hopefully that’s not true, but it’s what I was told…since I’ve known very gifted screenwriters.  Anyway, I am going to keep in touch with the woman I met as she sent me a lovely email of support.  I already know that ending up at the meeting yesterday was NOT an accident because I really need to meet more fun, like-minded people as I’ve felt so alone and isolated…and…I’m getting the feeling a door may have opened regarding these books I’ve started and never finished.  At the very least I need to do something with channeled writing that I started many years ago.

Fate is real.  Destiny is real.  There IS a plan for our lives and we should trust that…even when we feel 100% lost.  We’re never REALLY lost.  We’re just taking the scenic route on our path through life instead of the more direct route.  Personally, I need to try to enjoy the scenery more than I have up till now.

In Light,


The Pyramid Code

I got one free month of Netflix so I can watch shows/films nominated for the SAG Awards (I’m a SAG-AFTRA member) but got TOTALLY distracted with a 2009 documentary series called The Pyramid Code.  It’s fascinating!  I’ve learned that it’s highly unlikely the Great Pyramid of Egypt, along with the other major pyramids there, were meant to be tombs for pharaohs as we’ve all been told.  And, the fact that Egyptian higher-ups have been trying to hide major cracks in the pyramids from huge explosions that can’t be explained by “normal” means and also cover up clear UFO images amongst the hieroglyphics is eye opening!  They don’t show typical tourists the controversial stuff.  The pyramids also seem to be a lot older than how old we’ve been told…with the famous Sphynx being even older.  One of the most interesting things for this chronic pain sufferer is that there are signs that the pyramids used sound to heal people.  I was told by a very gifted British medium years ago that sound would heal me when nothing else has for over 21 years now.  I will admit that in Taos for the first time in 1998 when fate brought Tibetan monks into town where they did powerful throat singing I literally felt the energy from the sound(s) going through my body and affecting me.  I had a traumatic day and was totally depleted (see my post about Taos from 2013 about what happened at Ojo Caliente in 1998) but after the monks’ presentation and chanting I felt totally rejuvenated and was fine by the next morning.  I have always been drawn to Tibetan toning bowls and New Age crystal toning bowls.  Sound IS vibration and we are vibration, so it makes sense that sound can heal.

chichen-itzaThis was me at Chichen Itza in mid May 2015.  One of the coolest things about this awesome place is that when you stand at the bottom of El Castillo (pictured) and clap your hands (for example) you hear the clapping sound echo mysteriously.  El Castillo is a sound conductor.

From this multiple episode documentary I’m watching, now I want to go to Tikal in Guatemala too!  These researchers got tons of orbs in their pictures around this one older pyramid at Tikal that they think is due to the fact the structure is generating energy.  They also explained how the pyramids in Egypt used certain stones in certain ways to create electricity and/or insulate electricity where needed.  And some of these remaining sites near the Egyptian pyramids are 100% quartz crystal!

I highly recommend this documentary!  Much better than watching depressing news!

In Light,


Wonderful Wayne Dyer

I just “randomly” got emails from Hay House with videos of the wonderful Dr. Wayne Dyer, who left the Earth plane too soon on August 29, 2015.  (Too soon by my desires…not his soul’s.)  He should have been with us for at least another 20 years, and I’ve missed him ever since.  These videos were shot in 2014.

In the second video, when Dr. Dyer talks about what Jesus said…what popped into my head immediately regarding the Bible quote from Matthew 6:22:  “The light of the body is the eye:  if therefore your eye be single, your whole body shall be full of light.” was the 3rd eye!  I didn’t interpret it as Dr. Dyer does in the video as becoming one with The One.  So, out of curiosity, I just Googled it and found this: – Everything in my being says YES to this!

I just got totally distracted with the 3rd eye/pineal gland stuff when I began writing this post about how I think I may channel Dr. Wayne Dyer soon.  But, I’ve been accused of having ADHD and do get easily distracted.  LOL

Anyway…people resonate with different teachers, healers, reverends, etc. and I have always ADORED Dr. Dyer.  I simply resonated with him and his message from the first moment I heard him speak years ago.  His life story was one to be admired…from growing up in an orphanage to becoming a world renowned inspirational speaker/teacher.  All of a sudden this weekend I’ve had this subtle feeling that Dr. Dyer is hanging around and wants to come through.  I totally discounted it as my ego talking or just my imagination, because “Why would Dr. Dyer (1) know who I am and (2) choose little me in the middle of nowhere New Mexico to come through?”  The man had 8 kids!  Wouldn’t he pick one of them?!  Or wouldn’t he pick some good friend like Deepak Chopra or something?

And then I got these Wayne Dyer emails out-of-the-blue tonight.  Weird.  And then when I started to watch the first one, I got tingling.  Now, I’m not SURE yet that Wayne plans on showing up to speak through me in trance…especially since I normally channel Arcturians, Pleiadians, Andromedans, The Great White Brotherhood (not a racist thing at all), the Council of 7, etc.  But, I am getting a weird feeling he might.  I need to check with Hay House as I think they own the rights to his name.  I don’t want to get into legal trouble.  But, what am I to do if he shows up?  I can’t seriously say, “Sorry Wayne, but I need to waste time on Twitter.”

In Light,



Nature is the BEST doctor

Years ago when I was miserable in Los Angeles despite a job that I loved and that most would kill for in the entertainment industry, I felt starved for nature.  I literally voiced to my sister and friends that I felt starved for nature.  (I did not realize at the time that I was actually psychically picking up that I was LITERALLY starved for nature.)  I couldn’t afford to live in Laurel Canyon, Coldwater Canyon, or Malibu where there was a bit of nature.  I lived surrounded by concrete, smog, and noise.

I went to magical New Mexico during Christmas 2007 to house sit for a Santa Fe friend while she was gone.  She felt strongly that I needed to go to this holistic doctor in Tesuque while I was there for the week for my chronic headache from neck damage in October 1995.  I went ahead and booked a session with him out of curiosity.  He worked out of his Tesuque home, in the woods.  He did muscle testing/kinesiology (which I find to be FASCINATING by the way) on me while I laid on a table.  He didn’t tell me what he was testing but suddenly said to me, “Your body is saying that it’s nature deficient.”  WHAT?!  He then repeated it and told me that my body said it was starved for nature!  I was dumbfounded and a bit freaked out.

I just saw this article about yoga (of which I am a devotee) and it made me remember this 2007 experience.

As much as I miss big city life, my SOUL needs nature and peace.  It’s my EGO that needs glitzy, distracting Los Angeles, New York City, etc.  I am struggling right now (the attack on January 7th triggered depression), but know that I need to be here in The Land of Enchantment (New Mexico) to heal.  There is something for me here seeing how this state has brought me to it three times now:  2005, 2009, and 2016.  (Taos called me the first time in 1998 but I just visited.)

If you’ve never hugged a tree…do so.  I highly recommend it.  Trees are powerful conduits.

And, to go back to headache/neck pain stuff, check out this helpful information here:  Neck Help – I am seriously thinking about getting certified as a yoga teacher since there has to be SOME reason for my 21 years of head (also facial muscle weakening/drooping) and neck pain that no doctors or healers have been able to help…which brought me to yoga.  (Osteoporosis also brought me to yoga and I’m successfully correcting that without drugs.)  I need to venture down to Brazil to go to John of God and may really do that soon.  Trust me, if I go to see John of God, I’ll be blogging like crazy!

I prescribe for anyone who is ailing…forget doctors and get some Vitamin NATURE.





Crime, Compassion,Yoga, and Angels

As mentioned in my prior channeling post, I was mugged/attacked in the middle of broad daylight in a shopping center parking lot last Saturday.  The attack has been devastating financially, emotionally, and physically (unlike normal, I had ALL..and I mean ALL forms of ID in my purse…along with all access to money – usually I don’t have my debit card with me – and the creep got my apartment and car keys so I had to re-key my Honda to the tune of over $1,229 so he couldn’t come to where I live and steal her).  I did fight with him and got injured in the process.  My already BAD neck got really whacked and my pain level has been HIGH all week.  I also hurt my back, left knee, and my right thigh is black and blue.  I made the New Mexico news, although I’d rather be on the news for winning the lottery or something.

Here are photos I found of my stolen Coach purse and Ralph Lauren wallet.

Because I have never totally recovered from my Albuquerque house’s burglary in 2012 (it is truly a horrible feeling of being violated to have strangers rummage through every single thing you own…underwear, diaries, and all)…then having my Fiat vandalized…and I won’t even go into the sexual related violations from my past…this recent personal violation has REALLY affected me and I think I’m developing PTSD to a degree.  I’m very on edge and trust NO ONE.  Because this most recent waste of oxygen creep drove up behind me in a car while I was loading groceries, anyone driving near me, sitting in a car, or just standing around outdoors freaks me out and I’m filled with panic.  Doing laundry today at a laundromat, I got nervous and guarded my wristlet and keys when an innocent mom minding her own business started folding clothes near me.  I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be carefree and “safe” feeling again.  I’m filled with both rage and fear.  My emotions go back and forth.  I’m on Amazon right now ordering self protection devices.  Thank God, though, I didn’t have my gun in my purse last Saturday or he would have gotten my Walther PK380 semi automatic.  If you’re going to carry a gun, wear it ON you…not in a purse or backpack.

Initially the most devastating thing was the loss of my identity and having no access to funds.  One of the police gave me $10 for gas because I only had about 1 gallon of gas in Ruby.  (He’s getting a Starbucks card in the mail.)  Do you know what it’s like to not be able to prove who you are?!  You need ID to get ID!  I’m grateful to the New Mexico MVD because they bent over backwards to figure out a way to get me a new license with what I could scrounge up mixed with what I had shown them in November when I got my license.  My replacement credit card just came today…thank God again…and my replacement birth certificate, thanks to my 81 year old dad who drove all over Rochester, NY trying to get proof his daughter was born.  Now as the days have gone on…I’m feeling sad about the “unimportant” material items I lost.  The fucker got my most expensive and favorite burgundy Coach handbag that had my favorite Ralph Lauren wallet in it…along with my rhinestone, cute Hello Kitty business card holder that mom gave me, and a cute Hello Kitty key chain my friend in Florida gave me.  During my house burglary, the two crack whore sisters who went “shopping” in my house took my FAVORITES of whatever they stole.  They took my favorite purses, DVDs, jewelry, etc.  I feel like anything I love gets taken away from me…including my cats, Bodhi and Karma, who died too young. 😦 After the burglary in 2012, my house that I had loved was ruined.  I ended up selling it because it felt tainted.  I had been so proud of myself for buying my own house and loved my little house…but…it wasn’t the same after the violation.  Should I just never have anything I like ever again?  Will some other fucker take it from me?!  I’m angry…very angry.

Although I didn’t do yoga last Saturday (needless to say I wasn’t in the mood) like I obsessively do daily, I did force myself to do my yoga practice the other days.  It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been needed.  I tend to be out-of-body half the time anyway, but with what I’m going through and the fact my head/neck pain has been so bad, I’ve definitely wanted to disconnect from my physical body.  The yoga has helped me to pull back into my injured body/clothing.  And it’s helped me feel where I’m holding the most tension so that I can work on releasing it.  I’ve not cried on the mat this week, but I have cried on the mat before.  I never understood crying during yoga when other yoginis/yogis had mentioned it…until it happened to me a while ago.  Yoga truly is healing in many ways.

I’m not to the point where I can be Buddhist and feel compassion for my attacker (as you can tell from my prior language) like the Dalai Lama would instantly do, but there’s a reason I’m not the Dalai Lama or a monk.  The anger is just too strong.  But, I do know that I need to aim toward forgiving the mugger, and feeling compassion for where he’s at in his life that stealing from others is what he feels he needs to do.  (A friend is doing voodoo on him right now and that’s totally fine with me…told you…not to compassion yet.)  I know I need to find a way back to LOVE…so that’s a good sign.  Hopefully me wishing him a slow, painful death will pass.  The struggle is real.

This is a long post…sorry…but I need to express.

As much as watching the horrible news and going through what happened last Saturday has made me think humans are vile and I just want to live on a mountain top with my cats has been the forefront of my week…goodness, like a flower starting to sprout up through the ground has made me realize there ARE blessings in darkness.  When one of the Santa Fe police officers was driving me back to my car after getting a spare key from my apartment, a truck was next to us on the road with a 444 in its license plate.  In the messed up state I was in, I knew my angels were letting me know I’d be okay.  Then today, while driving to my PO Box, I noticed a 444 on Ruby’s odometer (Ruby is my Honda).  When I got to the post office, not only was my new credit card (access to funds!) and new birth certificate in my box, but also a donation solicitation mailing from a place I’ve never heard of.  And, look what was included in it (also lots of angel stickers)!!

angelswithmeMy unseen friends let me know that yes, they ARE with me and helping from the Other Side.  We truly are never alone when it feels like we are.  My angels are pretty creative too, regarding letting me know they’re around.  They know I can be dense, so they get really obvious.

On top of the compassionate police officer, my friend in Albuquerque, Sy, canceled her Sunday plans last weekend and drove up with $300 to help me get a phone and survive until I could get to my money.  Now, she wanted to go dumpster diving looking for my probably tossed out Coach bag (I doubt the guy realized the bag was worth WAY more than the $30 in it), but I had to remind her that Santa Fe has a lot of dumpsters, and it was freezing cold.  She is someone I love and will value forever for her enthusiasm and her compassion.  LOL!  Then there were the people at MVD who went above and beyond to try to help me.  What made me cry this week…well…I’ve cried a lot…was when I came back to my office at work and found a card slipped under my door.  When I opened it, a bunch of young postdocs down the hall who had heard about what happened to me and felt bad for me had signed an emotional support card saying that they wanted to prove to me that not ALL humans suck ass and that people DO care about me…and they included a $25 Starbucks gift card.  (No, I’m not sending that one to the police officer.  Ha!)  I barely even know these people (they are in a different department) and they truly touched my heart.  I’ve been overwhelmed by people’s care this week.  As I look for the good in the bad, THAT has been the most important lesson…that LIGHT DOES OVERCOME THE DARKNESS.

I also can’t forget to mention another kindness.  The Pueblo of Pojoaque police department let me hide my car at their place until I could get the locks and ignition changed this week.  People have been truly lovely to me.  All of my interaction with the Santa Fe police, Pojoaque police, and Santa Fe County sheriff members has been wonderful.

I know that everything happens for a reason, and I’m already starting to see what good will come from something bad happening.  I can’t say that I’m going to feel safe anytime soon, and I’m definitely making changes in terms of my personal security, but I have felt loved this week…often times by strangers.  There IS hope for this world.

In Light,


Council of Seven

My Council of Seven came through yesterday morning to talk to me, and what they said also applies to others.  (I just realized I’ve worn this same sweater before.)

This is the incident that happened last night they referred to in the YouTube video.  I felt overwhelmed when I looked at my two websites’ number of hits/views in 2016.  It made me suddenly realize just how much I need to really buckle down.  There are thousands of people, like me, looking for answers.  From age 10 I have felt this internal pressure that I have important work to do here on Earth and that I was running out of time.  But, at age 50 I do feel like I’m WAY behind and have wasted most of my incarnation.

A few hours after I taped yesterday’s channeling session, I was followed out to my car at a DeVargas Mall in Santa Fe and mugged/attacked.  I put up a fight for my purse (I was loading up the back of my hatchback.) but the creep who pulled up behind me jumped into  his car….almost dragging me….and sped away.  I lost EVERYTHING that proves my identity and all access to money.  I also got hurt and am in more pain today.  I am stressed out and devastated.  I don’t normally carry my passport, birth certificate, SS card, my credit card with my debit card, etc. but needed them for work on Monday.  Looking back, I not only realize I was the perfect target because I was struggling with too many heavy bags (groceries and pet food), but also realize spirit TRIED to warn me but I didn’t realize it!  For about the past 5 days I’ve had this thought pop into my head that I need to stop carrying purses (which a cop suggested recently) and twice during the day…before I got attacked at my car…while in stores the thought popped into my head, “Watch your purse”.  But, it was subtle and I did pay attention to my purse, but didn’t think it was actually a message from spirit.  LISTEN TO THINGS THAT RANDOMLY POP INTO YOUR HEAD!

Stressed and hurt,