There is a great weekly meeting here in Albuquerque called “Spirit Presents ABQ” where there is either a speaker/presenter each week, or an open forum where channels, psychics, etc. can practice their gifts in a supportive environment. (Email Barbara at email@example.com if you want to be added to her weekly emailed newsletter.) Due to my schedule, I don’t go very often, but felt a strong pull to go to tonight’s practice session. Earlier in the day I felt that I wouldn’t do any channeling, but may just give some mini psychic readings. I was wrong.
There were 6 of us who showed up tonight, with me being the last arrival. I sat in between a guy and gal and really didn’t expect to do much because my 20+ year long constant head and neck pain has been really, really bad lately and exhausting (don’t know why I got so much worse last July, but I did). Barbara led an opening meditation and both she and another channel gave channeled messages. When she asked if anyone else needed to channel, I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t feeling it. But then the empath to my right felt spirit with me and spoke up and said that I had major energies wanting to come through, which triggered me to go into trance pretty quickly. (Later on, the man to my left said that the moment I walked into the room and sat down, he felt MAJOR energy with me.) Because Barbara, when she first greeted me tonight, asked if I could ask my guides to be more gentle with me during channeling than they normally are, my session tonight was “better” than normal and a bit more gentle. (You can see some old videos of me on my Atheria PsychicMedium YouTube channel in trance and it can be pretty scary to watch as I look like I’ve got cerebral palsy or that I’m having a stroke or something.) That being said, the first channeling I did was very painful due to the tension in my body and the movement/positions my head and neck were put into (have a neck injury) and I couldn’t do on too long due to the extra pain. I do wish I’d been tape recorded though, as some important political stuff was said by a group that referred to themselves as “The Golden Dawn but not The Golden Dawn known for magick”. This group said they were connected to Sirius.
Because I was wiped out afterward, and complaining about how bad my head and neck hurt, the kind man to my left asked if he could do some energy work on me and, of course, I said yes. He took my left hand and I could feel some gentle flowing/shifting…it’s hard to explain. After a few minutes he said that a LONG time ago, pre Middle Ages, I had been beheaded and the chopping off of my head didn’t go smoothly…so it was a horrible execution gone wrong. (I have been killed by my neck in numerous past lives, but this one I wasn’t familiar with, although I was beheaded in another life too.) He said that I needed to forgive the people who killed me in that life and my other lives. (My hanging on July 19, 1692 during the Salem Witch Trials is another biggie.) It was also mentioned that I needed to forgive myself because there were things I did wrong too. He said that I had been killed because of my beliefs, which confirmed what a fellow channel friend in Los Angeles said to me years ago, “You’ve been killed many times because you had beliefs that were ahead of your time and not the norm. But, this is finally the life where you can speak your truth and not be punished/killed.” I can’t remember now exactly what he said, but when he mentioned something about there being a bridge between the past life he saw and now, I was hit with emotion and started to cry. The word BRIDGE is major for me. Many years ago at the start of my journey, I had a “dream” with James Van Praagh in it where he walked up to me and said, “You are a bridge for spirit.” That’s why my old email address was firstname.lastname@example.org (deleted now) and that’s why this blog’s address is what it is.
In honesty, I said that I carry A LOT of anger with me regarding being hung during the Salem Witch Trials, for example, so it would not surprise me if I’m also carrying anger from other brutal deaths in my past…that are “bridged” to my current neck and head pain. I was told I’ve really got to work on forgiving all involved, and myself. Then the people in the circle addressed the issue of WHY my channeling is always so physically stressful, difficult, and dramatic. They made me aware that instead of just letting the energies I’m channeling flow through me, I seemed to be pushing them out or something. They pointed out that perhaps I felt FEAR of being persecuted for my channeling and was kind of blocking the energies instead of TRUSTING and LETTING GO OF CONTROL to allow a smoother flow. I will admit that (1) I am a control freak, so totally letting go is an issue and (2) I have major trust issues in general, and do question what comes through and debate with “them” in my head before any words come out. I carry on full fledged arguments behind the scenes in my head. I’m so afraid of not being believed or that my unseen friends will be wrong, I totally jam up the energy…which causes the contorting, gasping, locked up muscles, etc. After coaching me a bit on how to just ALLOW…I tried to channel again to see if I could get it to be easier/smoother. Sure enough, it was easier. It wasn’t perfect and Barbara had to remind me to breathe when she could see that I was starting to hold back/control, but it was definitely better than my usual sessions.
Doing this work, it’s so hard to trust what is happening! You keep asking yourself, “Is this just me making up stuff?” But, during my second try, my unseen friends (a different group from the Pleiades that knew the first group) gave 100% accurate spirit messages to 3 people in the room! Add to that, the wonderful note I got today on Instagram about a prediction I made a year ago or so that just came true…and…my confidence is building! I question all the time, “Can I really do this?” So, it’s nice to get confirmation that I’m not talking out my butt. Ha!
The interesting thing is that afterward, my 20+ year long migraine shifted. My “normal” pain is a constant really bad pressure sensation deep inside my brain pushing out in all directions, with it being worse in my occipital region. Add to that the burning at the base of my skull and in certain parts of my neck and the occasional stabbing in my neck/traps, and things are just lovely…not. Anyway, my head still felt pressure pain, but it was a little lower and there was a throbbing more concentrated pain on the left side of my head. Any change in the type of head pain is a good sign in my book, after 20 years. I think I’m clearly onto something. I need to buckle down and work on forgiving those who killed me, forgive myself, and stop fearing my gift and letting it flow. I must continue to speak my truth and another guy tonight suggested pulling the blue flame into my throat chakra. When I’m starting to channel, I often start coughing and that is not a coincidence.
It’s late and I think I’m forgetting other important stuff that happened tonight. But, I left with some important things to think about and work on. I’m so glad I went to the practice session! Of course, now I’m questioning if I should be leaving Albuquerque next month as planned. But, as a couple of them said, if Colorado doesn’t work out, I can always come back. True! I have this weird feeling that this job in my beloved Taos that I’ve written off as not going to come through, will come through just as I’m about to move do the Denver/Boulder area. Now that could just be me worrying though, and not a message. LOL! I have a strong connection to the Rocky Mountains from Colorado down into New Mexico and said under hypnosis last August that eventually I wouldn’t live in just one place, that I’d travel a lot for my spiritual work…especially between Colorado and New Mexico. My gut does feel that is going to happen. I would like to mention that when John Denver wrote “Rocky Mountain High”…he was actually in mountains near Taos, New Mexico, not Colorado! 🙂 My magical Taos!
The moral of this long post is: Do not hold onto anger as it causes many health problems. Speak your truth. Trust in your higher self and guides. And being a control freak just causes stress.
P.S. Oh, when I got into my car to head home after the meeting tonight, I looked at my car’s odometer to see a 444! Angel sign! 🙂