Tag Archive | angels

Veer off your path and find magic!

Since I’ve got commitment issues and am still not committing to this great apartment with washer/dryer hookups by buying a washer and dryer, I drove to the cheap laundromat I like in Espanola this a.m. to do my laundry.  This laundromat always has friendly people in it (and free coffee!) but today I got to chatting with this nice man who turned out to be a fabulous artist named Walter W. Nelson.  We chatted about various things, including art and writing and living in isolated areas.  He agreed that I effed up when I got shy 20 years ago and turned down Neil Simon’s offer to mentor me as a writer.  (He’s friends with a successful writer and neighbor in Abiquiu.)  But he also said something important to me.  When I mentioned that I’m not sure WHAT to write as I am all over the place with ideas, he said, “Just write.  Don’t try to figure it out.  Just write.”  (I’m paraphrasing.)  We had one of those brief, fateful interactions that are clearly destined…and not accidents.  Walter may not know it, but I think he was used as a messenger/angel today for me.

By the way, I looooove this quote from his writer friend’s bio:  In 1986, Preston piled everything he owned into the back of a Subaru and moved from New York City to Santa Fe to write full time, following the advice of S. J. Perelman that “the dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.”

After lunch, I got the urge to go to El Santurio de Chimayo as I felt the need for spiritual/emotional healing and my 21+ years of constant head/neck pain has been slowly killing me…literally.  On the way to Chimayo, I got the urge (was listening to urges today and it turned out magical) to veer off to go to the Nambe Trading Post I’ve heard about.  As fate would have it, today was day 1 of their opening for the summer season!  The place has fabulous stuff, including movie memorabilia and a real Emmy Award!  As a vegan, some of the dead animal stuff was upsetting, but, it is part of the Native American culture and history, so I dealt with it.  I wanted to buy tons of the things they had for sale, but controlled myself.  Ha!  And, of course, I wanted to steal the Emmy! 😉 The Nambe Trading Post has some great art.

After that, I continued onto my end goal…El Santuario de Chimayo.  But, as I went to turn onto Highway 98 from Highway 503, I saw a sign pointing down further on 503 that mentioned a LAKE.  When I see anything that mentions lakes, I get excited.  So, I decided to go exploring and stay on 503.  It was a very winding and pretty drive and I discovered a tiny town I’d never heard of before named Cundiyo.  I had no cell reception there and asked some locals if I was near a lake…and they kindly gave me directions.  (Everyone I interacted with today was freaking LOVELY!  People waved at me in Chimayo like they do in Taos!)

Finally, I got to Santa Cruz Lake.  I have never heard of Santa Cruz Lake!  It’s wonderful!  There is always more to find in magical New Mexico!  I only stayed for a little while, so the parking attendant didn’t charge me the $5 fee because I told him I just wanted to take some pictures and wouldn’t stay long.  (See what I mean about nice people today?)

Eventually I continued on and found a pretty restaurant called Rancho de Chimayo where they let me wander around and explore even though I wasn’t eating there.  (Nice people yet again!)  I am definitely going to eat there this year.  It has wonderful ambiance and I heard GOOD margaritas!

Finally…but it was a lovely warm, spring-like day…so I wasn’t in a rush…I made it to El Santuario de Chimayo.  I explored more of the areas around the church than usual, and sat inside this chapel just down the block.

chapel

chapel interiorI was alone in Santo Nino de Atocha chapel…and it had GREAT energy of holiness.  There truly is power in places where people go to pray.  It clearly affects the vibration of the place.  I felt reverence.  I felt God.  This chapel was built in 1857.

I got talking to yet another kind man who pointed me toward what looked like a tiny house (I’m obsessed with tiny houses.) but was actually a tiny chapel.  (It’s on my http://www.instagram.com/atheria444 account.  I’m too tired to find it and post it.)  He promised me that if I went inside and shut the door, I’d be filled with peace…that I’d feel God.  And, he was right.  There was a sense of peace inside that tiny building.  But, it was also hot and stuffy so I didn’t stay long.  LOL

I got coffee from a local Chimayo coffee house/art gallery and had a wonderful conversation with my barista/gifted artist.  Yep…..another wonderful interaction with a stranger today.  (There was also a guy driving past me, who, when I looked lost in my car, asked me what I was looking for and helpfully pointed me in the right direction.)

With coffee in hand, I headed to El Santuario.

chimayochimayo interior

I was raised Catholic, but am not Catholic anymore…but do appreciate and love OLD churches.  I have to respect those who TRULY take their religion/faith seriously.  There was a family in fervent prayer.  In small New Mexico towns like Chimayo the people live, breathe, and eat their faith.  And, their reverence for Jesus/God clearly not only shows in their interactions with others, but also affects the energy of the place.  The energy there is FABULOUS.

I did go into the back room this time, where the holy healing dirt is.  I followed directions and rubbed some of it on my damaged neck.  I also asked God for help regarding both physical and emotional healing so that I could accomplish the things my soul came here to do in this incarnation.  Right now the physical pain, which is 24/7 and worsening by the year, sucks too much of my energy.  I struggle just to get through the day.  If I’m supposed to do major spiritual work….I need relief….and I need it now.

I will say that sitting in some of the prayer areas of both the main church, and the other chapel….where people put up photos of loved ones who need prayers (lots of babies)….hits you.  It was a bit overwhelming just how many people are suffering….and how much love there is within families/friends.

When it was time to leave, I got into Ruby (my red Honda Fit) and looked down to see that it was exactly 4:44 p.m.!  As I’ve mentioned before, 444 is a sign that angels are with you!  Perfect timing!

As I was driving home on Highway 503, I tilted my head up a bit to avoid the sun that was directly in my eyes, when suddenly my neck…up at the very top where my skull sits on C1 and I’m convinced my main problem is…snapped/cracked!  It was weird!  Something clearly shifted!  I thought to myself, “Oh my God!  El Santuario de Chimayo is going to fix my neck!”  Now, a few hours later my 21+ years long headache is still here…but…something DOES feel different.  I really do thing something good happened.  I’m trying to control my hope, but I have a little hope after being hopeless for a very long time.  Wouldn’t it be awesome to wake up tomorrow and be out of pain because I rubbed dirt on my neck?!

When I got home, this is what I saw:

sky porn

I saw God in the sky.  New Mexico makes you feel and EXPERIENCE God.  I can’t really explain it to those who don’t get it.  But, this land is truly magical.  I may not be happy, in general, and definitely need to find more fulfilling work that doesn’t suck my soul dry…but I’m where I’m meant to be.  My soul knows that Northern NM is where I’m meant to be.  I never was meant to be in Albuquerque.  Northern NM is what I resonate with.  And the people are SO friendly and kind up here!  I want to live where strangers wave at you!

Blessings,

Atheria

 

Crime, Compassion,Yoga, and Angels

As mentioned in my prior channeling post, I was mugged/attacked in the middle of broad daylight in a shopping center parking lot last Saturday.  The attack has been devastating financially, emotionally, and physically (unlike normal, I had ALL..and I mean ALL forms of ID in my purse…along with all access to money – usually I don’t have my debit card with me – and the creep got my apartment and car keys so I had to re-key my Honda to the tune of over $1,229 so he couldn’t come to where I live and steal her).  I did fight with him and got injured in the process.  My already BAD neck got really whacked and my pain level has been HIGH all week.  I also hurt my back, left knee, and my right thigh is black and blue.  I made the New Mexico news, although I’d rather be on the news for winning the lottery or something.

Here are photos I found of my stolen Coach purse and Ralph Lauren wallet. https://www.instagram.com/p/BPT5BLjDZBP/

Because I have never totally recovered from my Albuquerque house’s burglary in 2012 (it is truly a horrible feeling of being violated to have strangers rummage through every single thing you own…underwear, diaries, and all)…then having my Fiat vandalized…and I won’t even go into the sexual related violations from my past…this recent personal violation has REALLY affected me and I think I’m developing PTSD to a degree.  I’m very on edge and trust NO ONE.  Because this most recent waste of oxygen creep drove up behind me in a car while I was loading groceries, anyone driving near me, sitting in a car, or just standing around outdoors freaks me out and I’m filled with panic.  Doing laundry today at a laundromat, I got nervous and guarded my wristlet and keys when an innocent mom minding her own business started folding clothes near me.  I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be carefree and “safe” feeling again.  I’m filled with both rage and fear.  My emotions go back and forth.  I’m on Amazon right now ordering self protection devices.  Thank God, though, I didn’t have my gun in my purse last Saturday or he would have gotten my Walther PK380 semi automatic.  If you’re going to carry a gun, wear it ON you…not in a purse or backpack.

Initially the most devastating thing was the loss of my identity and having no access to funds.  One of the police gave me $10 for gas because I only had about 1 gallon of gas in Ruby.  (He’s getting a Starbucks card in the mail.)  Do you know what it’s like to not be able to prove who you are?!  You need ID to get ID!  I’m grateful to the New Mexico MVD because they bent over backwards to figure out a way to get me a new license with what I could scrounge up mixed with what I had shown them in November when I got my license.  My replacement credit card just came today…thank God again…and my replacement birth certificate, thanks to my 81 year old dad who drove all over Rochester, NY trying to get proof his daughter was born.  Now as the days have gone on…I’m feeling sad about the “unimportant” material items I lost.  The fucker got my most expensive and favorite burgundy Coach handbag that had my favorite Ralph Lauren wallet in it…along with my rhinestone, cute Hello Kitty business card holder that mom gave me, and a cute Hello Kitty key chain my friend in Florida gave me.  During my house burglary, the two crack whore sisters who went “shopping” in my house took my FAVORITES of whatever they stole.  They took my favorite purses, DVDs, jewelry, etc.  I feel like anything I love gets taken away from me…including my cats, Bodhi and Karma, who died too young. 😦 After the burglary in 2012, my house that I had loved was ruined.  I ended up selling it because it felt tainted.  I had been so proud of myself for buying my own house and loved my little house…but…it wasn’t the same after the violation.  Should I just never have anything I like ever again?  Will some other fucker take it from me?!  I’m angry…very angry.

Although I didn’t do yoga last Saturday (needless to say I wasn’t in the mood) like I obsessively do daily, I did force myself to do my yoga practice the other days.  It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been needed.  I tend to be out-of-body half the time anyway, but with what I’m going through and the fact my head/neck pain has been so bad, I’ve definitely wanted to disconnect from my physical body.  The yoga has helped me to pull back into my injured body/clothing.  And it’s helped me feel where I’m holding the most tension so that I can work on releasing it.  I’ve not cried on the mat this week, but I have cried on the mat before.  I never understood crying during yoga when other yoginis/yogis had mentioned it…until it happened to me a while ago.  Yoga truly is healing in many ways.

I’m not to the point where I can be Buddhist and feel compassion for my attacker (as you can tell from my prior language) like the Dalai Lama would instantly do, but there’s a reason I’m not the Dalai Lama or a monk.  The anger is just too strong.  But, I do know that I need to aim toward forgiving the mugger, and feeling compassion for where he’s at in his life that stealing from others is what he feels he needs to do.  (A friend is doing voodoo on him right now and that’s totally fine with me…told you…not to compassion yet.)  I know I need to find a way back to LOVE…so that’s a good sign.  Hopefully me wishing him a slow, painful death will pass.  The struggle is real.

This is a long post…sorry…but I need to express.

As much as watching the horrible news and going through what happened last Saturday has made me think humans are vile and I just want to live on a mountain top with my cats has been the forefront of my week…goodness, like a flower starting to sprout up through the ground has made me realize there ARE blessings in darkness.  When one of the Santa Fe police officers was driving me back to my car after getting a spare key from my apartment, a truck was next to us on the road with a 444 in its license plate.  In the messed up state I was in, I knew my angels were letting me know I’d be okay.  Then today, while driving to my PO Box, I noticed a 444 on Ruby’s odometer (Ruby is my Honda).  When I got to the post office, not only was my new credit card (access to funds!) and new birth certificate in my box, but also a donation solicitation mailing from a place I’ve never heard of.  And, look what was included in it (also lots of angel stickers)!!

angelswithmeMy unseen friends let me know that yes, they ARE with me and helping from the Other Side.  We truly are never alone when it feels like we are.  My angels are pretty creative too, regarding letting me know they’re around.  They know I can be dense, so they get really obvious.

On top of the compassionate police officer, my friend in Albuquerque, Sy, canceled her Sunday plans last weekend and drove up with $300 to help me get a phone and survive until I could get to my money.  Now, she wanted to go dumpster diving looking for my probably tossed out Coach bag (I doubt the guy realized the bag was worth WAY more than the $30 in it), but I had to remind her that Santa Fe has a lot of dumpsters, and it was freezing cold.  She is someone I love and will value forever for her enthusiasm and her compassion.  LOL!  Then there were the people at MVD who went above and beyond to try to help me.  What made me cry this week…well…I’ve cried a lot…was when I came back to my office at work and found a card slipped under my door.  When I opened it, a bunch of young postdocs down the hall who had heard about what happened to me and felt bad for me had signed an emotional support card saying that they wanted to prove to me that not ALL humans suck ass and that people DO care about me…and they included a $25 Starbucks gift card.  (No, I’m not sending that one to the police officer.  Ha!)  I barely even know these people (they are in a different department) and they truly touched my heart.  I’ve been overwhelmed by people’s care this week.  As I look for the good in the bad, THAT has been the most important lesson…that LIGHT DOES OVERCOME THE DARKNESS.

I also can’t forget to mention another kindness.  The Pueblo of Pojoaque police department let me hide my car at their place until I could get the locks and ignition changed this week.  People have been truly lovely to me.  All of my interaction with the Santa Fe police, Pojoaque police, and Santa Fe County sheriff members has been wonderful.

I know that everything happens for a reason, and I’m already starting to see what good will come from something bad happening.  I can’t say that I’m going to feel safe anytime soon, and I’m definitely making changes in terms of my personal security, but I have felt loved this week…often times by strangers.  There IS hope for this world.

In Light,

Atheria

Watches, numbers, pothole covers, and more!

This post is going to cover a bunch of happenings, so sorry if I end up all over the place.  Ha!

headstand-bench

Me with my new headstand bench!

Last Saturday I went to a MeetUp group called “Coffee, Tea, & Spirituality” (I could not resist a group with THAT name!) for the first time.  As you know, spirit speaks to me with numbers A LOT…and increasingly so.  My biggies have been 444 (angels are with you), 333 (Masters are with you), 555 (changes are coming), and the occasional 1111 (the mother of all spiritual numbers…see http://www.nvisible.com for info).  On the way to the meeting, I got two 333s within a minute of each other.  The meeting turned out to be really great, and part way through I got the urge to check the time on my phone, and when I did it was exactly 11:11 a.m. of course!  Love it!  So, my unseen friends seem fans of this new group I’ve joined.  Lovely group of people there.

A few of years ago or so, I felt strongly urged by my unseen friends to stop wearing watches.  They were aggressive about it.  I suspected the quartz/electromagnetic field put off by watches was disturbing my body’s energy or something…but that’s just a guess.  So I didn’t wear watches for a long time, and I’m obsessed with knowing what time it is.  Anyway, a year ago or less, I suddenly just got this craving for a watch.  It felt “safe” at that point, so I went to Macy’s and got a pretty watch.  It ran fine for a while, and then died.  (sooner than it probably should have)  I went to Walmart to get a new battery put in, and the watch died again a month later or so.  So, I didn’t wear a watch again for a long time.  All of a sudden last weekend, I got this urge to get another battery for the dead pretty watch, went to my new local Walmart, but they wouldn’t open up a watch they didn’t sell for some dumb reason.  I ended up just buying a cheapy basic watch while there.  That was on the 11th.  Today, on the 16th, I woke up to a dead watch.  Thankfully, I kept the receipt, so Walmart did put a new battery in it.  While I was talking to the gal who was working on my watch, I mentioned, “Well, you never know how long a watch has been sitting on a store shelf, having its battery drain.”  She replied, “Actually, we go through watches very fast and pretty much they are all new every week.”  So then I turned back to my other gut feeling…that my energy is blowing the watches.  We’ll see how long this brand new battery lasts!  I’ve met other people who blow out watches and have given up even trying to wear one.  Has this happened to any of my readers?

My constant head and neck pain has been HORRID again since last week for some stupid reason.  I’ve booked a Watsu session for Monday, but in my desperation to get relief NOW, I looked on CraigsList for the heck of it to see if anyone was selling a used yoga headstand bench I could get for cheap.  The AirBnB I stayed at in Taos back in April had one and I loved it.  As fate would have it, there was one in good condition for sale in Boulder for only $40.  I drove up this morning to buy it, and got talking with the kind man selling it about cats and life.  He happened to mention a “coincidental” story about his cat that prompted us to start talking about more metaphysical/spiritual stuff.  At one point, he mentioned he’d lost a brother back in the early 1970s who was 6 years older than him, and told me about this sign he got that he felt was a message from the brother long ago.  Well, you don’t mention that kind of stuff to me, because BAM!  The tingling started and his brother showed up.  I ended up giving him some messages from his brother in spirit, that meant a lot to him.  I could not help but think I was sent to buy this headstand bench from this man so that his brother could “talk” to him.  I truly feel there are ZERO chance encounters in life.

Also, during our long and lovely talk, we got talking about numbers.  I specifically told him about 555, 333, 444, and 1111.  He said that he noticed numbers a lot too…but wasn’t really aware of the meanings of these specific ones.  I hadn’t been driving but 5 minutes back toward home with my new yoga headstand bench when I got two 1111s in a row and then a 555!  I texted him and he loved it!  That just kind of confirmed for me that his brother arranged this morning’s meeting.

And since I’m talking about numbers, all of a sudden the past few days I’m getting new ones for me, 222s and 777s.  I need to look up what they mean.  I think 222 means partnership (good news) and 777 may mean just spirituality, but I’m not sure.  In fact, when I got to Walmart for my watch battery on the way back from Boulder, in the parking lot there was not only a 777, but a phone number on the side of a commercial vehicle was (303) 777-7777!  I just laughed!

pothole-lid

Westminster, CO lid in a sidewalk.

Take a look at the picture above of a sewer system or electrical system underground lid.  Do you see what I see?  I see a pyramid with UFO over it!  And I feel that the circle means something too.  I need to pull out symbols books and look up Sacred Geometry or something.  Even “Monitoring Well” sounds freaking suspicious!  With the whole Denver International Airport issue…nothing would shock me at this point.  Sometimes hints are in plain site and we don’t notice them because they ARE so obvious.

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/front-range/denver/denver-international-airport-receives-letter-from-jesse-ventura-with-warning-of-airport-excavation

Okay, I’ve rambled on enough today.  Thanks for reading!

In light,

Atheria

Soul vs. Practicality

IMG_20160903_154456

I just got back from 2 days in Taos, discounting travel time…after driving 90 mph for 4.5 hours.  It was magical, as always.

I’m sitting here…home…but not “home”.  What have I done?  I fully expect a high level job offer from XXXX (can’t name it but it’s a great place in the Denver area) this coming week and I will be thrilled (and relieved after over 4 months of looking) but there is a tug at my soul.  It’s name is Taos.

I’m going to miss waving at strangers as they pass by in their cars and trucks.  I’m going to miss the deadbeats who brag that they’ve not worked in 14 months, hate the government, but are on food stamps (keep in mind I’m on them) and give tips on how to get the most out of food stamps with half off coupons.  Or the ones the locals told me about who stop by daily to bum a cigarette.  I’m going to miss the people who have walked away from high level jobs/lives to devote themselves to traveling the world doing yoga service (working for room and board along the way).  I’m going to miss the people who just “happened” to pass through Taos on their way to somewhere else and knew they couldn’t leave…like the Seattle artist I met last April who, on his way back from an art tour in London, fell in love with Taos and never returned to Seattle.  Or, the woman I met at The Snowmansion hostel years ago who decided, on a whim, to veer off and check out Taos on her way back to her home in Wyoming from Sedona…who went back to Wyoming, quit her high paying government job, sold her property, and moved to Taos with no idea how she would survive but knew “It will work out.”

I’m going to miss the people intently photographing sunflowers by the side of the road.  I’m going to miss the bad singers in Taos Plaza blasting their voices over speakers with tip jars out…but…so happy to be singing with joy.  I’m going to miss the artists set up in the middle of coffee house parking lots painting what the bright sunlight at 7,000′ shows.  I’m going to miss Taos’ night sky with billions of stars.  Have you ever seen the Milky Way?  I have.  I’m going to miss the quiet.  I’m going to miss the voice of Taos Mountain and La Bruja (witch) that appears at the top of the next door mountain peak…broomstick and all (a stereotype I don’t love but she’s cute with her pigtail blowing in the wind).  I’m going to miss the bartering between locals as they each support each other.   I’m going to miss CPAs/marathoners  who tell me that their REAL job is to be in Taos.  I’m going to miss the strangers in dreadlocks who offer to make me coffee.  I’m going to miss the guy from Scandinavia who ended up in Taos because he threw a dart at a map on the wall and it landed on Taos.  I’m going to miss baristas and German girls in hostels who break into song.  I’m going to miss the fact that everyone is either related to each other or knows each other, and looks out for each other.

I’m going to miss the stories…the wonderful and magical stories of how people ended up in Taos.  When you say to someone, “This place is SO special and weird” and they look at you knowingly, and nod in agreement.  I’m going to miss talking with people who are in Taos to attend the Earthship Academy.  Yes, there is an Earthship Academy.  And then there was the couple who’ve lived in the Taos area their entire lives, yet still drive out to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge to eat dinner and watch the sunset.  I talked to a very elderly man yesterday who told me Taos called him 22 years ago.  He was at Wired, eating a scone or something, and reading the New Yorker.  He told me (after hearing my 1998 story) that my story reminded him of Mabel Dodge Lujan.  Then, of course, there is Dennis Hopper…who, while looking for places to film Easy Rider, fell so in love with Taos that he lived there for 40 years.

I am crying as I type this.  I do love Colorado.  It’s beautiful and full of opportunity and welcoming people (despite the current deluge of 10,000 per month).  I’m very alone in the world with no one else to rely on and have to take care of myself financially…and Denver is an economic hot spot.  At this point, at 49 and alone for 49 years, I can’t expect that to change.  Hope just creates letdown.  I have to plan for my future/later years.  I don’t want to struggle in Taos with 3 part-time jobs with no benefits.  With tears rolling down my cheeks…I feel stuck.  I know that my ashes will be sprinkled in Taos someday.  I just hope that’s not too late for me to be there.

During my weekend in Taos I got a lot of power numbers, especially 111.

My friend in Massachusetts visited my grave today and placed a sunflower.  As if I wasn’t already crying.  Thank you, Tumeria.  A sunflower turns its face to the sun.  Very symbolic.

wp-image-416798848jpg.jpg

Melancholy,

Atheria

Who is knocking on my head this a.m.?

Well, clearly my unseen friends heard my intention posted earlier about trying to channel at home so that I can post videos online on a more regular basis.  This morning, just before I was about to head out to Sprouts Market I felt someone “knocking” on my head (tingling) and felt urged to give channeling a try.  Normally I am blocked from doing full trance mediumship when alone because it can be risky.  I’ve been able to do what’s known as “relay channeling” via writing/typing where I’m not in FULL trance for years, but yep, I was able to fully channel briefly this morning.  Although the beings didn’t announce themselves, I do feel it was the Arcturians.  Below is what they quickly stopped by to say.

I know that when I channel it scares some people, but, trust me, this is milder than what it used to be!  LOL!  And, I’m fine.  It’s just physically difficult to fit 1000 watts of energy into a 100 watt bulb. 🙂

In Light,

Atheria

The place of the red willows!

IMG_20160326_071219-2

Because my day job has become unbearable, and the 24/7 headache and neck pain that I’ve dealt with since Oct. 1, 1995 that all doctors and healers have given up on has gotten increasingly horrid since last July…I decided a couple of days ago to move to my beloved Taos, New Mexico to heal and redo my life.  I’ve been trying to move to a bigger city than Albuquerque, but no doors have been opening.  In fact, they pretty much have slammed in my face.  So, instead of bigger, I’m going SMALL…think 5,716 people small.  Keep in mind I used to live in Los Angeles, so Taos is going to be an adjustment, but whenever I need to feel better emotionally, I go to Taos.  It’s my refuge.  But after a realization, I’m wondering if it is indeed the place I’ve been told about that will physically heal me.

I think I’ve blogged before about the telepathic communication I had with a wild dolphin off the coast of the Big Island of Hawaii in 2002.  Above is a bad drawing of the symbol the dolphin plopped into my head with the words, “This will  heal you.”  A year or two ago it suddenly dawned on me that maybe the image was supposed to represent Taos Mountain…specifically Blue Lake way up high in the mountains there, which is sacred to the Taos Pueblo.  While Googling Taos in bed in the wee hours of this morning due to insomnia (because the pain is so bad and I started to worry about quitting my job in this economy to move to a little town) I came upon the image of the town of Taos official seal and my reaction was, “Oh my God!  It’s what the dolphin sent me!”  Take a look and let me know if you see the similarity I see.

seal_taos_thb

Then, while reading more about Taos online, I saw where it said it’s known as “the place of the red willows”.  I immediately flashed back to what this man in Portland in 2008-2009 said to me.  He said that for healing I needed to go to the “land of the red willows”.  I don’t even think he knew about Taos and had casually mentioned it while we were drinking coffee in a Starbucks!  I am both freaking out and in awe!  Now, more than ever, I KNOW I’m doing what needs to be done to help myself…job or no job.  Taos or Bust!

Packing for a move in April…

Atheria

Past lives, current pain, and forgiveness

There is a great weekly meeting here in Albuquerque called “Spirit Presents ABQ” where there is either a speaker/presenter each week, or an open forum where channels, psychics, etc. can practice their gifts in a supportive environment.  (Email Barbara at spiritpresentsabq@gmail.com if you want to be added to her weekly emailed newsletter.)  Due to my schedule, I don’t go very often, but felt a strong pull to go to tonight’s practice session.  Earlier in the day I felt that I wouldn’t do any channeling, but may just give some mini psychic readings.  I was wrong.

There were 6 of us who showed up tonight, with me being the last arrival.  I sat in between a guy and gal and really didn’t expect to do much because my 20+ year long constant head and neck pain has been really, really bad lately and exhausting (don’t know why I got so much worse last July, but I did).  Barbara led an  opening meditation and both she and another channel gave channeled messages.  When she asked if anyone else needed to channel, I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t feeling it.  But then the empath to my right felt spirit with me and spoke up and said that I had major energies wanting to come through, which triggered me to go into trance pretty quickly.  (Later on, the man to my left said that the moment I walked into the room and sat down, he felt MAJOR energy with me.)  Because Barbara, when she first greeted me tonight, asked if I could ask my guides to be more gentle with me during channeling than they normally are, my session tonight was “better” than normal and a bit more gentle.  (You can see some old videos of me on my Atheria PsychicMedium YouTube channel in trance and it can be pretty scary to watch as I look like I’ve got cerebral palsy or that I’m having a stroke or something.)  That being said, the first channeling I did was very painful due to the tension in my body and the movement/positions my head and neck were put into (have a neck injury) and I couldn’t do on too long due to the extra pain.  I do wish I’d been tape recorded though, as some important political stuff was said by a group that referred to themselves as “The Golden Dawn but not The Golden Dawn known for magick”.  This group said they were connected to Sirius.

Because I was wiped out afterward, and complaining about how bad my head and neck hurt, the kind man to my left asked if he could do some energy work on me and, of course, I said yes.  He took my left hand and I could feel some gentle flowing/shifting…it’s hard to explain.  After a few minutes he said that a LONG time ago, pre Middle Ages, I had been beheaded and the chopping off of my head didn’t go smoothly…so it was a horrible execution gone wrong.  (I have been killed by my neck  in numerous past lives, but this one I wasn’t familiar with, although I was beheaded in another life too.)  He said that I needed to forgive the people who killed me in that life and my other lives.  (My hanging on July 19, 1692 during the Salem Witch Trials is another biggie.)  It was also mentioned that I needed to forgive myself because there were things I did wrong too.  He said that I had been killed because of my beliefs, which confirmed what a fellow channel friend in Los Angeles said to me years ago, “You’ve been killed many times because you had beliefs that were ahead of your time and not the norm.  But, this is finally the life where you can speak your truth and not be punished/killed.”  I can’t remember now exactly what he said, but when he mentioned something about there being a bridge between the past life he saw and now, I was hit with emotion and started to cry.  The word BRIDGE is major for me.  Many years ago at the start of my journey, I had a “dream” with James Van Praagh in it where he walked up to me and said, “You are a bridge for spirit.”  That’s why my old email address was spiritbridge@yahoo.com (deleted now) and that’s why this blog’s address is what it is.

In honesty, I said that I carry A LOT of anger with me regarding being hung during the Salem Witch Trials, for example, so it would not surprise me if I’m also carrying anger from other brutal deaths in my past…that are “bridged” to my current neck and head pain.  I was told I’ve really got to work on forgiving all involved, and myself.  Then the people in the circle addressed the issue of WHY my channeling is always so physically stressful, difficult, and dramatic.  They made me aware that instead of just letting the energies I’m channeling flow through me, I seemed to be pushing them out or something.  They pointed out that perhaps I felt FEAR of being persecuted for my channeling and was kind of blocking the energies instead of TRUSTING and LETTING GO OF CONTROL to allow a smoother flow.  I will admit that (1) I am a control freak, so totally letting go is an issue and (2) I have major trust issues in general, and do question what comes through and debate with “them” in my head before any words come out.  I carry on full fledged arguments behind the scenes in my head.  I’m so afraid of not being believed or that my unseen friends will be wrong, I totally jam up the energy…which causes the contorting, gasping, locked up muscles, etc.  After coaching me a bit on how to just ALLOW…I tried to channel again to see if I could get it to be easier/smoother.  Sure enough, it was easier.  It wasn’t perfect and Barbara had to remind me to breathe when she could see that I was starting to hold back/control, but it was definitely better than my usual sessions.

Doing this work, it’s so hard to trust what is happening!  You keep asking yourself, “Is this just me making up stuff?”  But, during my second try, my unseen friends (a different group from the Pleiades that knew the first group) gave 100% accurate spirit messages to 3 people in the room!  Add to that, the wonderful note I got today on Instagram about a prediction I made a year ago or so that just came true…and…my confidence is building!  I question all the time, “Can I really do this?”  So, it’s nice to get confirmation that I’m not talking out my butt.  Ha!

The interesting thing is that afterward, my 20+ year long migraine shifted.  My “normal” pain is a constant really bad pressure sensation deep inside my brain pushing out in all directions, with it being worse in my occipital region.  Add to that the burning at the base of my skull and in certain parts of my neck and the occasional stabbing in my neck/traps, and things are just lovely…not.  Anyway, my head still felt pressure pain, but it was a little lower and there was a throbbing more concentrated pain on the left side of my head.  Any change in the type of head pain is a good sign in my book, after 20 years.  I think I’m clearly onto something.  I need to buckle down and work on forgiving those who killed me, forgive myself, and stop fearing my gift and letting it flow.  I must continue to speak my truth and another guy tonight suggested pulling the blue flame into my throat chakra.  When I’m starting to channel, I often start coughing and that is not a coincidence.

It’s late and I think I’m forgetting other important stuff that happened tonight.  But, I left with some important things to think about and work on.  I’m so glad I went to the practice session!  Of course, now I’m questioning if I should be leaving Albuquerque next month as planned.  But, as a couple of them said, if Colorado doesn’t work out, I can always come back.  True!  I have this weird feeling that this job in my beloved Taos that I’ve written off as not going to come through, will come through just as I’m about to move do the Denver/Boulder area.  Now that could just be me worrying though, and not a message.  LOL!  I have a strong connection to the Rocky Mountains from Colorado down into New Mexico and said under hypnosis last August that eventually I wouldn’t live in just one place, that I’d travel a lot for my spiritual work…especially between Colorado and New Mexico.  My gut does feel that is going to happen.  I would like to mention that when John Denver wrote “Rocky Mountain High”…he was actually in mountains near Taos, New Mexico, not Colorado! 🙂 My magical Taos!

The moral of this long post is:  Do not hold onto anger as it causes many health problems.  Speak your truth.  Trust in your higher self and guides.  And being a control freak just causes stress.

In light,

Atheria

P.S.  Oh, when I got into my car to head home after the meeting tonight, I looked at my car’s odometer to see a 444!  Angel sign! 🙂