As I was about to start typing, I suddenly heard (in my head) Janet Jackson singing, “I’m in Control – Never gonna stop…Control – To get what I want” which is very fitting for my current end of 2018 mood. Quite frankly, I’m sick and tired of life happening TO me instead of life being controlled by me. I’m tired of having accident after accident that makes the pain I’ve lived in for 23 years worse and worse. I’m tired of things not working out. I’m tired of letdowns. I’m tired of moves not working out. I’m tired of unfulfilling jobs after my dreams didn’t work out. I’m fed up.
Interestingly, with perfect timing, a friend from my Santa Fe astrology group gave me this book yesterday that he felt called to buy me while in awesome New Orleans: “The Un-Spell Book – Energy Essentials for Mastering Magick” by Mya Om
Right now I’m only on page 60 but am very inspired to claim my inherent power. It’s time I took hold of the reigns. Forget the let go, let God…and go with the flow stuff. Another astrology friend who is looking at my natal chart right now trying to help me figure out why my life has been so stuck and cruddy, pointed out that she sees an aspect that shows I’ve been afraid to accept how powerful I am. We each are powerful. Too often we give our power away, or are afraid of it. Well, no more of that for me!
As much as I’ve argued with friends about whether or not we can create our reality, I do have to brag about causing an airplane to be delayed years ago via my pure will. Here’s the story…
I had taken a cheap chartered airline from/to Orly from LAX. It only had flights once per week in each direction. After 3 weeks of traveling through France, Italy, and Switzerland, it was time to head home. I thought I knew how to get back to the airport but got totally lost and suddenly everything was only in French. Because I had spent most of my cash planning to head back to California, I totally lost it and panicked. I was freaking hysterical. The French were SO kind to me and shoved me onto trains and pointed and didn’t charge me train fare. I had just become aware of the whole you can create your reality thing, and started FRANTICALLY and very assertively (through tears and snot) saying, “My plane is an hour late! My plane is an hour late!” I visualized it being late. I did everything I could to create it being late by an hour. By the time I made it to Orly, it as 10 minutes past when the plane should have taken off. I ran up to the airline attendant (seriously hysterical…but the emotion helped) and told her I probably missed the only flight back and she said, “Didn’t you know? Your flight was delayed an hour. If you run, you can make it.” Yep…I did that. 🙂
I think what made it work was the emotional energy I put into it. The book Malcolm gave me that I’m reading right now about spells pretty much says it’s the emotion that empowers spells and makes them effective. It’s also raising the emotional energy that is the hard part, along with BELIEVING you can control things. I suspect many of us who’ve not had luck with “The Secret” have unconscious doubt that cancels out our affirmations and vision boards. And, a heck of a lot of people…at a deep level…don’t believe they deserve prosperity, love, health, and happiness.
I’ve been having more and more accurate psychic flashes and hits lately (they charged the ex husband in a NM woman’s murder who drove a red pick-up truck with her murder and I’d picked up that the killer had a red truck). I am gifted and it’s high time I stopped being a victim of circumstance, and started creating my “fate”. And, I’ve got a huge band of unseen friends around to help me…from fairies to spirits to extraterrestrials!
Since I was wrongly murdered on July 19, 1692 in Salem for being a witch, it’s time I actually became a witch. I think that’s fitting payback. I’m accepting my inner witch. I’ve always said that nature is my church. As much as I am drawn to Buddhism, right now I feel it’s too passive. I want power. Now, the thing that does cause issues is my belief/knowing that major events in our lives are charted before incarnation. You know, the traumas we stupidly agree to while setting up our next lives “up there” with our spirit guides…when we are blissful and clueless about what we are getting ourselves into down here on 3D Earth. Maybe, just maybe, although major events/lessons are charted…we can indeed control how they turn out. It’s a thought. And maybe all of the hell I’ve been through physically and emotionally happened to push me to the point where I reclaim my inner witch. It’s possible. I’ve always been a bit of a control freak yet late bloomer. 🙂
Happy 2019 and may you reclaim any power given away!