When the thought popped into my head days ago that I should make a Will at age 50, I dismissed it as “nothing but a random thought”. You’d think I would have learned by now that things that just pop into your head out-of-the-blue actually are messages from spirit. Now, I don’t know that I’m dying soon for SURE, but I never felt I’d live very long. I recall thinking I wouldn’t make it to 30.
A couple of days after the making a Last Will and Testament thought, I had a VERY eerie/scary dream. I don’t recall all of it now, but the important parts were that I saw myself as a naked and dead as this guy was having sex with my lifeless body. (Didn’t want to even mention that part…but…it seems to be important.) I was above the scene watching it. When he turned to look up at me after sensing me witnessing what was going on, he was a demon. (A few days before this dream, a fellow psychic friend in CA sent me an email asking if I’d just sent her an email with the subject line “Angels and Demons” or something. She was on her tablet when this flash of an incoming email popped up on her screen. When she finished what she was doing and went to go look at the supposed email from me…nothing was there.) Then the next part of the dream was seemingly very different. I was in my house/apartment (in dreams…when I’m in some type of structure like a house it usually means it’s an astral event and not just a regular dream) when this big brown rabbit frantically runs into my house like it was trying to hide from something. It was followed by a black shaggy dog with an injured hind leg. Out of curiosity I looked up the meaning of rabbits and dogs and dreams and found this information.
Rabbits seem to be a good omen:
But, black dogs…especially injured black dogs…can mean death:
“An injured dog in a dream suggests that you pay closer attention to yourself and your health or remove yourself from a situation in which you could be hurt. Black dogs symbolize depression or death, since in many world mythologies, the dog is a guardian of the gates of death or a messenger or guide to the Other Side.”
Some other websites that had black dog meanings…especially injured ones…were a bit more blunt and definitely pointed towards death.
Some friends have said that the death may not be literal but symbolic, that there is a part of me that is about to die as I birth a new chapter. Hopefully, that’s what it all means…but…my life hasn’t been super great, and living in constant awful pain, I’m ready to go if it’s my time.
That being said (sorry to be a downer), something happened yesterday that I want to mention in order to give others proof that there IS a plan even when we feel totally lost — I’ve felt like I’m 100% rotting lately and that my entire life has been, and is being, wasted.
A week or two ago I signed up for an astrology Meetup group’s gathering at a coffee house in Santa Fe set for yesterday. When I showed up at 3 p.m. I saw a good sized group and recognized two of the women, so I walked over. Then I found out that no, my group’s meeting had been canceled (that’ll teach me not to verify on Meetup.com that a meeting is still on) and that they were the newly formed Goofy Spiritualist in Action group. Loved the name instantly and told them that yes, I’m goofy! LOL! They invited me to join them and it ended up being a GREAT group of fun people who want to do a whole bunch of different type spiritual related things.
Now, keep in mind that I was not supposed to come to this meeting. I showed up by “accident”.
Not long after joining the group, when they were going around the table having people introduce themselves and explain what drew them to join the group, I started noticing my heart starting to race, and someone in spirit trying to force their way in. I mentioned that I felt like I was about to go into trance and would hold the energy back. But, they were all very receptive. I did hold the energy back for a while, but then it got stronger. I knew it was Lisette, my fairy. Yes, fairies are real. I never believed in them until I met her in 2002. She is a fun, happy, joyful spirit to channel. She usually shows up when the mood needs to be lightened.
So, I ended up doing a brief channeled session right in the middle of Tribes Coffee of Lisette, my fairy guide. It was SO Santa Fe that I’m shaking and gasping and having a different voice come through quite loudly and NO ONE even looked up from their coffee and conversations at the other tables! LOL! It didn’t phase them at all! Ha Ha! I am truly meant to be here. (Interestingly, a few people mentioned how much they don’t like Albuquerque’s energy at all and can’t wait to get out of the city when they need to go there…where I lived the 2 prior times I’ve lived in NM. I was talking to one woman in Taos years ago who DREADED having to go to Albuquerque when she was forced to go to the airport.) Lisette wanted to come through because she was thrilled with the whole concept of this new upbeat spiritual group. She was cheering us on. I don’t remember most of what she said, but supposedly someone is going to type up a synopsis for us. I do recall her saying that sometimes people are SO serious about spiritual growth that it actually hinders their growth.
Toward the end of the gathering, I got talking to a lovely woman who…not only gave me a needed hug…but also turned out to be the Acquisitions Editor for a book publisher. As you know, I am intrinsically a writer and have been one since I was a kid. All over my natal chart there are signs pointing toward me being a writer. I’ve had a TV show idea and the beginnings of a film idea in my head for eons. But, I do think I need to focus on book writing as that seems “easier”. All that formatting and such that’s needed for screenplays seems overwhelming. Besides, a book can always be adapted and become a screenplay. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I was told years ago a reputable source that Hollywood respects book authors more than people who market themselves strictly as screenwriters. Hopefully that’s not true, but it’s what I was told…since I’ve known very gifted screenwriters. Anyway, I am going to keep in touch with the woman I met as she sent me a lovely email of support. I already know that ending up at the meeting yesterday was NOT an accident because I really need to meet more fun, like-minded people as I’ve felt so alone and isolated…and…I’m getting the feeling a door may have opened regarding these books I’ve started and never finished. At the very least I need to do something with channeled writing that I started many years ago.
Fate is real. Destiny is real. There IS a plan for our lives and we should trust that…even when we feel 100% lost. We’re never REALLY lost. We’re just taking the scenic route on our path through life instead of the more direct route. Personally, I need to try to enjoy the scenery more than I have up till now.