I have changed my mind and am paying to have Bodhi cremated separately so that I can get his ashes back. I know that our bodies are just clothing for our soul, but I just have to have some part of Bodhi with me. When I die someday, I want to be cremated and be scattered in Taos with my pets.
I have been crying since Tuesday. I have never felt such grief. My cats are the lights of my life. They have given me love during the darkest hours. I keep begging Bodhi to please visit me in spirit, but so far he has not come. I think the sneeze I heard on Tuesday was actually Karma sneezing and not Bodhi in spirit. Maybe my emotional despondency is just too much and it’s stopping him from coming through…I don’t know. But I just want a clear sign from him that he is still with me.
Update: I had written the above yesterday. Tonight something happened!
Chakra was with me in the den watching a Lyme Disease documentary when she suddenly jumped up and got up on her hind legs at the end of the couch staring into the kitchen intently…almost afraid. She CLEARLY saw something in the kitchen and was on alert. I’m sure she saw Bodhi’s spirit. I tried desperately to see him, but couldn’t. I did feel tingling through my body though. I really want to see, feel, or hear Bodhi. I am suspecting my emotionalness is actually blocking him from being able to get through to me. I somehow need to calm down.