For a while I have felt that I needed a distinct path to follow, but nothing ever felt totally “right”.  I have always just made my own way, although I did practice the “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo” form of Buddhism in the mid 90s via the SGI organization in Los Angeles.  Something about it never felt totally authentic to me though.  It seemed materialistic, which is the antithesis of true Buddhism.  Maybe I misread things, I don’t know, but it turned out just not to be for me.  I do still have my gohonzon though.

I have always been drawn to Buddhism and Wicca…and recently Native American spirituality.  I have dabbled in Wicca, but gotta admit, it’s not a religion for the lazy.  It’s a lot of work!  What I like about Wicca and Native American spirituality is the appreciation for and connection to nature.  I have always said that nature was my church. What didn’t quite feel right is the whole concept of various gods and goddesses.  I don’t think it’s because I was raised Catholic, but something within me just feels there is ONE source…..one Great Spirit (to borrow from the Native Americans)….one God.  God is not a man with a long beard and white robes though.  God is not a person.  That I do know.

I have two past lives that I know about in Tibet and I think one in Nepal.  Perhaps that is the reason I’m feeling increasingly drawn to Buddhism.  Or, it could be my suffering.  I have suffered a lot in my life regarding health problems, unfulfilled dreams, and heartbreak.  When I was reading about Buddhism earlier today and how it came about to explain suffering and how to end it, something clicked for me.  Attachment IS the cause of much suffering, whether you are attached to a love interest or a material item or feeling good.  And then there is compassion.  Because of some things I’ve gone though lately, I am being tested regarding feeling compassion.  Even though I’ve wanted revenge, my soul knows that compassion is the right choice.

So, I am choosing to devote myself to Buddhism.  It’s not an easy path, but I’ve often taken the hard route.  This will force me to look at things within myself.  This will be growth.  This will be a journey…




9 thoughts on “Buddhism

  1. Well, I see Buddhism as not only a path/religion that holds you responsible for your own actions and choices (you can’t just go to a priest and ask for forgiveness every time you do something wrong)…but if you are someone like me with a temper and no patience for stupidity, etc. the fact that you are supposed to feel compassion for everyone…even the jerks…is hard. I truly think it’s a very high level calling to be Buddhist. Other religions sadly put up with followers full of hatred.

  2. But still, even you follow Buddhism or another path, it wouldn’t change the consequences of what you do, if your doings have any, would it? I think it’s only that not considering about them because you wouldn’t be aware of them. If asking for forgiveness works, it should also work for a Buddhist too, right. that’s my opinion.

  3. and thanks for replying me.
    also I don’t see why only a Buddhist is supposed to feel compassion for everyone. What we feel is our choice, isn’t it? It’ not forced by anyone.So I don’t think it’s a responsibility. Fact is that you have to face the consequences of your good or bad actions, even you like or not or a Buddhist or non- Buddhist.
    But there are instructions in Dhamma to delay the bad ones, having the knowledge how to do it (one is: by doing lot of good deeds that are powerful )

    Wish you a successful journey!

  4. You have valid points. 🙂 Logically, everyone is always held responsible for their actions…but…in my experience, many people who follow other religions think they are much more easily absolved. Because I was raised Catholic, I use as my example people (and I’ve met them) who sin, go to confession, walk out of the booth feeling innocent, go and do the same sin again, repeat. There is a lack of real conscience.

    Thank you for the well-wishes. They are joyfully accepted. 🙂

    • Yes, I think that’s because they believe in what they do, i.e. believing absolution makes them pure again and vanish all consequences.
      I’ve been raised as a Buddhist. So may be I don’t understand what you’ve tried to point out, but I had an feeling (I may be wrong) that you admire their ability of being easily lived. (I meant no humiliation, just writing what I am now thinking ).
      I think it’s better to revise if it is a kind of consolation you also prefer to have for your self. For me It’s good if it is real ( absolution). I also would like to have some get away method. But what if, if they still have to face the consequences of their sins. It’s a risk I wouldn’t like to take, because I don’t think that lack of real conscience in this life would be a help then. Of course you can live easily in this life, if you don’t think there’s no rebirth or everything’s over after death.
      Any of us can believe what we like. Some centuries ago people believed that earth was flat. but it didn’t change earth from remaining round. We now believe it’s a globe. But that’s based on knowledge of science. A belief does not need to be a truth. We just can believe anything we want to believe. But our beliefs affect our perception on reality and it would narrate our vision.
      I don’t know if you just wanted to end this conversation by your last reply. As you are able to always end it, I thought it would be OK to write thoughts that came in to my mind seeing your reply.

  5. You were not wrong. I do admire those who can blindly go through life thinking they can do whatever they want and “get away with it”. But, like you said, just because they THINK they are getting away with things doesn’t mean they are. I do believe that when we cross over to the Other Side we go through “life review” and experience/feel how we either hurt others (you literally feel those you’ve hurt’s pain) or gave joy to others. I’ve heard it’s very traumatic for some souls who’ve caused a lot of damage to go through. I hope to not be one of those whose life review is difficult to bear.

    “Just because you believe it doesn’t make it true.” That has always been a quote I love. 🙂


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